An old African proverb says, “When there is no enemy
within, the enemies outside can do you no harm.”
Self-awareness is one of the most important skills
for success. How you behave and respond to external situations is governed
by internal mental processes. Self-awareness uncovers
any destructive thought-patterns and unhealthy habits.
This leads to better decision-making and behavioral responses.
Here are 12 exercises for greater self-awareness:
1. The three Why’s
Before acting on a decision, ask yourself “Why?” Follow
up your response with another “Why?” And then a third. If you can find three
good reasons to pursue something, you’ll have clarity and be more confident in
your actions.
Being self-aware means knowing your motives and
determining whether they’re reasonable.
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2. Expand your emotional
vocabulary
The philosopher Wittgenstein said, “The limits
of my language means the limits of my world.”
Emotions create powerful physical and behavioral
responses, and are more complex than “happy” or “sad.” Putting your
feelings into words has a therapeutic effect on your brain; if
you’re unable to articulate how you feel, that can create stress. Here’s a great list of “feeling words” to help
with labeling your emotions. Increase your emotional vocabulary with
one new word each day.
3. Practice saying “No”
to yourself
The ability to say “No” to yourself — to put off short-term
gratification for the long-term gain is an important life-skill. And like
a muscle, it is strengthened with exercise. The more you practice saying “No”
to small daily challenges, the better you can withstand major temptations.
There are plenty of daily temptations — social media,
junk food, gossiping, Youtube. Make a goal of saying “No” to five different
temptations each day.
4. Break visceral
reactions
A person without self-awareness runs on auto-pilot, and
responds with knee-jerk reactions. Self-awareness allows you to assess
situations objectively and rationally, without acting on biases and
stereotypes.
Take a deep breath before you act — especially when
a situation evokes anger or frustration. This gives you time to re-assess
whether your response will be the best one.
5. Be accountable to
your flaws
Nobody is perfect. Being aware of your flaws, but failing
to accept accountability, is leaving the job half-done. We’re often critical of
others, while ignorant of our own flaws. Self-awareness helps turn
the mirror on ourselves and prevents hypocritical behavior.
Iteration and self-improvement only happens once you
recognize a flaw. Create a habit of acknowledging your mistakes, rather
than making excuses.
6. Monitor your
self-talk
There is non-stop commentary in our heads, and it’s
not always helpful. A little bit of negative self-talk can spiral
into stress and depression.
Pay attention to the way you respond to your successes
and failures — do you pass off your achievements as luck? And crucify yourself
after failures? Positive and negative feedback-loops will form in your mind
based off how you respond to successes and failures. Being tough on
yourself needs to be balanced with self-compassion. Celebrate your wins,
forgive your losses.
7. Improve your body
language awareness
Watching yourself on video can be a cringeworthy
experience, but awareness of your body language, posture, and mannerisms
improves your confidence.
Slouching, or taking a “low-power-pose” increases cortisol and
feeds low self-esteem, while standing tall or taking a “high-power-pose”
stimulates testosterone and improves your performance. Using hand gestures
helps with articulating your thoughts and affects how people
respond to you.
Record a speech or presentation and evaluate your posture
and hand gestures. Watch videos of skilled speakers and adopt their
mannerisms to improve your own.
8. Play “Devil’s
Advocate”
Taking an opposing view forces you to question your assumptions.
Your ‘default’ beliefs and worldview are not always reasonable; it’s
healthy to “argue against yourself” and see how your views hold up.
And you’ll give your brain a good workout. Processing
challenging information stimulates new neural connections.
9. Know your personality
type
Knowing your personality type allows you to
maximize your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Understanding your
“strengths” and “talents” can be the difference between a good choice, and a great choice.
(Strengths are skills and knowledge that can be acquired, while talents are
innate).
Start with understanding where you fall on the introvert/extrovert
spectrum; know your Myers-Briggs type; and then conduct a
personal SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities,
threats).
10. Ask for constructive
feedback, regularly
We all have blind spots in our thinking patterns and
behaviors. Asking for regular constructive feedback cuts through any
self-deceit or one-dimensional views you might hold. But only ask people
you’d consider mentors — those who understand you; whom you respect; and will
tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
11. Practice
self-evaluation and reflection
Keep a journal and track your progress. How
would you rate your current level of self-awareness out of ten? Think about how
often you say regretful things; repeat bad habits; make absent-minded
decisions; and have erratic thoughts.
Set regular goals, break big goals down into smaller
milestones. Ask yourself at the end of each day, “What did I do well today?”
And, “How can I improve on this tomorrow?”
12. Meditation
Meditation is a foundational practice for improving
self-awareness. To focus solely on your breathing is to focus on a
key internal process. You’ll become aware of how your mind wanders, and get
better at snapping out of distractions.
These 12 great Self awareness exercises for happiness help us to succeed in our life. Self-awareness uncovers any destructive thought-patterns and unhealthy habits. This leads to better decision-making and behavioral responses.
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